Speech- Caroline Totty

Caroline Totty

         Imagine you are a freshman girl in college, an older boy you don’t know very well invites you to a frat party. He seems nice enough so of course you agree to going. When you get to the party he seems happy to see you and offers to get you a drink, and you kindly accept. You drink the drink not questioning anything and later the guy asks if you want to go upstairs, you follow him. He takes you into a room alone and starts touching you and you feel uncomfortable, but don’t want to say no in fear of him getting mad and regretting asking you to the party. However, just because you don’t say no doesn’t mean you want to. He is very forceful and before you can say anything he is violating you in traumatizing ways. “No means no” is the phrase people advertise for anti rape; however, sometimes it is hard for someone to say no so instead they say nothing at all leaving the person to do whatever they want, but if the phrase was changed to “yes means yes,” that would require someone to completely agree to partake in sexual activities rather than not saying anything and that resulting in rape.

         44% of rape victims are under the age of 18, and 80% are under the age of 30. Every 2 minutes another American is sexually assaulted. Every year there are about 237,868 victims of sexual assault. However, 60% of those sexual assaults will never be reported to the police and 97% of rapists will never spend a day in jail. About 2/3 of assaults are committed by someone known to the victim. You wonder how a so called “friend” could do something so life traumatizing to you, but it happens more often than you would think, about 38% of rapists are a friend or acquaintance.

         The confusion with the term “no means no” is the blurred lines between “no,” “I don’t know,” and “yes.” Sometimes it is hard to completely refuse something. Think about the amount of times you haven’t wanted to do something, yet you don’t straight forwardly say no. Many rape victims are the same, they don’t want to but they can’t say no because they are fearful. So, if someone does respond with “I don’t know,” when the phrase “no means no,” is in place then technically that’s not no so what they are doing isn’t rape. However, when it’s the phrase “yes means yes,” I don’t know doesn’t stand. There is no blurred line, the person either agrees or they don’t. If they say, “I don’t know,” then it could be considered rape.

         Even though it doesn’t always stop them, no men want to be accused of rape. That kind of accusation is life damaging and no woman will look at a man the same way again. Unfortunately, the beloved Bill Cosby has recently been exposed for multiple cases of rape that happened years ago. In an interview with CNN Janice Dickinson comes out with her story of how Cosby raped her. At the end of the interview she starts crying and states that, “this has affected me in my house, this is affecting me here and it has probably affected these other women.” Janice Dickinson claims that Cosby raped her in 1982, yet she is still traumatized 32 years later. In the documentary, Without Consent, several women come out with their terrifying rape stories. Rape is not something to be taken lightly. It is a major problem with several thousand girls becoming victims every year.

         In the United States alone the rape number has been steadily rising since 1960. Obviously the term “no means no” is not very affective. Although several cases of rape happen when a girl is at a party and gets roofied. When this happens the victim either becomes completely unconscious or very incapable of handling themselves, much less able to refuse sexual activities. This makes it very easy for people to take advantage of someone, especially when they are unable to say no. This is where the blurred lines are relevant. When someone is roofied they can’t refuse, but when it’s the phrase “yes means yes,” they wouldn’t be able to agree maybe causing the rapist to think twice.

         These phrases aren’t laws that are strictly enforced, but I think if the phrase was changed to “yes means yes,” then it would make some people stop and think, “Is this worth ruining my life?” Maybe it won’t. Maybe some people are pigs and their goal in life is to ruin someone else’s and force them to live in fear everyday that something like that will happen again, their goal in life is to force nightmares upon innocent people and make them afraid to close their eyes every night, their goal is to make someone so paranoid that they can barely function.

        

         Rape is absolutely disgusting, and the fact that someone could have the power to make someone else live in fear the rest of his or her life is disgusting. Although rape will never be completely stopped there are things we could do to help prevent it. If you see something that could potentially lead to rape, don’t be a bystander; intervene. Also remember to never take a drink from someone you don’t know and never leave your drink anywhere, you don’t know what could be in it. Most importantly, start advertising the phrase “yes means yes,” rather than “no means no.” Let people know if someone doesn’t say yes to participate in sexual activities it will be filed as rape. Don’t put yourself in any uncomfortable situations and remember, “Yes means yes!”

  

Works Cited

Girl with Man's Hand Over Mouth. Digital image. Scaryforkids. N.p., 21          Aug. 2014. Web. 14 Dec. 2014. <http://www.scaryforkids.com/>.

Janice Dickinson: Cosby Drugged And Raped Me When I Was 27. Perf.

         Janice Dickison. CNN, 2014. Interview.

Ritter, John. Phi Kappa Psi House. Digital image. Marshlaw. N.p., n.d.          Web. 14 Dec. 2014. <http://www.marshlaw.us/>.

"Statistics." Rainn. N.p., n.d. Web. 13 Dec. 2014. <https://www.rainn.org>

"United States Population and Number of Crimes 1960 - 2013."          Disastercenter. N.p., n.d. Web. 14 Dec. 2014.

         <http://www.disastercenter.com/>.

Without Consent. Dir. David Goldie. ABC TV Documentaries, 1992.          Documentary.