I guess I'm a sucker for inspirational quotes. I have a plethora of sticky notes littering the inside of my desk, numerous scrawled words in the margins of my agenda, and way too many wallpapers saved on my computer. No, not like cheesy cat posters, but valuable tidbits from great thinkers - Maya Angelou, Ghandi, C.S. Lewis. Yet... I can't seem to find one that truly "sticks" with me. Currently I'm flipping through some colorful notecards I dug up. There's no denying this stuff is deep - "Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less." (C.S. Lewis), "Normality is a paved road: It's comfortable to walk, but no flowers grow on it." (Van Gogh), to name a few - so why have they been collecting dust in my desk drawers? I like something, so I write it down. And then forget about it? How does that make sense? Perhaps it's because I'm distant from these people, these disembodied names. The piece of advice that has stayed longest with me did not come from any book, or influential figure, or person of authority in my life - it came from a friend, and of all places, in seventh grade.
In middle school, I was considered rude. I didn't realize I came off that way, but I was blunt, to say the least. (Because god forbid an adolescent female actually realizes how ridiculous pubescent drama is...) Back in those days it was still a thing to write cute sparkly little notes to each other, and I got into some pretty serious (and multicolored) conversations seventh grade year. One in particular became so long that we no longer wrote notes, but letters, and a topic that just so happened to come up was my "inherent" rudeness. My penfriend was the epitome of politeness and diplomacy, and formulated a list aptly titled "X's rules of being NOT rude," a 16-step plan that I took to heart. In fact, there is a bright pink transcription in my desk right now.
I shamelessly say today that I have only accomplished 4 out of the 16 requirements, and probably won't get much further (I'm still stuck at #2: STOP ROLLING YOUR EYES SO MUCH). But that's not the point. The point is that it gave me new insight about myself, and helped me become more self aware. I don't think I'll ever be a completely not-rude person - at least according to my friend's standards - but I'm making the effort to improve, and that's what matters.
I completely get why you roll your eyes. You get to "grow up" but I'm stuck in this world of 14 - 18 year old's (mainly of the 16 year old variety as of late) and it's kinda the same thing every year. I grow, my family grows, you grow - but I live stuck in HS angst, drama, insecurity, frustration, hope, despair. I wouldn't say that you're rude, I would say that you are discerning and struggle with having the patience for the struggle that is High School. Anyway, you're fairly amazing and I'm excited to see what becomes of you. And #2 is pretty good advice!
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