When my friend and I were going through a rough patch, I went to my youth minister for guidance and he offered me something of this nature: "You have no control over what anyone else does, but you can control yourself." In other words, stop trying to change the other person and instead focus on how you can change. While he was not saying that you never need to talk through problems with people, he was saying that it's not up to you to fix the other person, so you should instead focus on how you can improve yourself and they will do the same. This helped me change my attitude and resolve our differences.
This applies in other areas as well. If you are always seeking to control how other people act, you will never feel in control. But only you have control over whether you lash out or take a breath and let it go. Whether you say what immediately comes to mind or think before you speak. Whether you overreact or turn the other cheek. Life is full of choices and you have enough of your own to make without trying to make other people's for them. :)
it's amazing how quickly "loss of control" can destroy everything in the time it takes to speak a word.
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